let’s talk about running

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Happy Wednesday!!

I woke up this morning eagerly anticipating looking outside to a full blown blizzard. Much to my disappointment, I was greeted by cold temps, wind, and only a little snow. Luckily, since I got out of bed it has gotten 10x worse outside, so I am officially on a snow day from work. I probably could have gone in today, but since I work for myself and only had a couple clients scheduled for today anyway, I decided to reschedule my clients and stay home!!
I’ve been meaning to talk about running for awhile now, and since I can’t think of anything else to talk about today, this seems like an ideal time.
I ran both cross country and track and field in middle school, but I haven’t run competitively since then. I much preferred cross country to track, mostly because running in circles around a track gets really damn boring after awhile, and I ran the longer distances so after about 10 minutes, I got kind of bored with the same scenery. I also really liked the  training involved for cross country meets. I’m the weird person who loved hill sprints.
My eating disorder prevented me from running all through high school. I didn’t realize how much I liked running until I couldn’t do it anymore.  I picked up running again once I was fully recovered and healthy, and now run about 15k a week. Compared to most bloggers, this is nothing, I know, but I haven’t been training for anything, only running to complement my other workouts. I have to have a steady strength training schedule, just to keep up with the physical aspects of my job.
 I haven’t run a race since middle school, mostly because near the end I started to dread races. The pressure I put on myself during races in middle school definitely came from my perfectionism. I had to be the fastest. I had to train the hardest. I tried really hard, but there were girls that were faster than me. Unfortunately, middle school me equated that with not being good enough. This resulted in my dread of races, because I knew that I couldn’t beat those other girls, and thus I was a failure. I realize now that it was silly of me to think that, and I should have just been happy I could run with my team at all.
 Considering I haven’t run a race since middle school, it has allowed such a build of up anxiety over the fact that if I run a race, those same feelings of pressure and failure might resurface. That anxiety has turned into fear, which prevented me from signing up for any races year after year, even though I am completely capable of doing them.
One of my resolutions was to live with less fear, tackle my anxiety, and worry less. I’ve been wanting to start running races again for a few years now, but always came up with excuses not to do them. This year I’ve decided to cut the bullshit, and JUST DO IT. I’m eyeing a 10k race in May right now, and I think I have convinced my best friend to train for a 5k that same weekend, so I have a built in training buddy. Running a marathon is on my bucket list, and I almost signed up for half marathon training with my local running store last week but chickened out. I’ve decided to start small, with a couple 5 & 10ks this year, and maybe I’ll revisit the idea of half marathon training next year. I’d really like to have a running buddy who was training for the same thing when I decide to tackle a half marathon!
The most important thing for me is to remember that I am only racing against myself, that the fact I am even capable of finishing is a huge victory that I should be thankful for, and that it is meant to be FUN. I don’t want to put too much pressure on myself, I just want to challenge myself and re-discover my love for running.
What is your favorite distance to run? Do you like races, or just running for fun?
Favorite running blogs, articles, apps, etc? Please share your favorites with me! 

9 thoughts on “let’s talk about running

  1. I completely relate to this. Like more than you know. It’s part of the problem I had this year with cross country and track, and it’s the major reason I quit swimming. I started feeling so much pressure (mostly self-imposed) that I was having panic attacks and stopped loving it for what it was. As soon as I took a step back and reevaluated why I love running, I started enjoying it again and stopped feeling that pressure! The half marathon distance is my personal favorite- I’m not a fan of the 10k but that’s because most of my memories of it are from running 25 laps around the track, which is boring, as you said 🙂

    • I admired you so much for making the decision to take a step back from track and swimming to find your love for running again, SO inspiring 🙂 I’ve found a lot of people have told me that the half marathon distance is their favorite, hopefully I eventually come to love it!

  2. I’m glad that you are excited about running again and also going into it with a mindset that you need to be mindful of making sure you are running for fun and for YOU! I can sometimes feel belittled by how many miles other bloggers run (I am not a runner at all!) and it can make me feel like my workouts aren’t as good as theirs but that’s so not true because I am me, and I work so hard in my step and spin classes even if I don’t know how much mileage those classes equal!

    • Yesss! I agree 100% ! It’s so so easy to compare yourself with other bloggers and their mileage/workouts/whatever. It’s one of the downsides to blogging for sure, but as you said, it doesn’t matter what other bloggers are doing, because you yourself are kicking ass! I try to use others as inspiration to work hard, not to compare myself to them 🙂

  3. you go girl!!! i was a competitive cross country and track runner all through high school. i was even kinda good a spose..? i qualified for state in track 5 times, and for cross county 2 times. i even have two state medals!! nifty i spose!! haha. but running was very serious for me because i was kind of a prodigy coming up through middle school and then when i got to high school, i felt a lot of pressure to be as good as everyone thought i was suppose to be. i was a hard worker and i always wanted to win, but i ended up dreading practice and my workouts. i had a really intense coach and our practices were not a walk in the park. i remember actually physically getting sick from practice a couple of times. (like puking, cold, flu, missing school because i was so sick), but since then i’ve patched up my relationship with running and we both love each other now. that’s my love story about running. 🙂 haha. i hope yours ends up just as good as mine did!

    • Is there anything you don’t kick ass at?! You’re amazing girl! I definitely would’ve cracked under that much pressure, and probably would never have run again hahaha I think there’s a fine line between having a hard ass coach that encourages you and one that applies too much pressure. I could use a good kick in the ass every now and then, but push me too hard and I’m just useless haha!

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