I woke up this morning eagerly anticipating looking outside to a full blown blizzard. Much to my disappointment, I was greeted by cold temps, wind, and only a little snow. Luckily, since I got out of bed it has gotten 10x worse outside, so I am officially on a snow day from work. I probably could have gone in today, but since I work for myself and only had a couple clients scheduled for today anyway, I decided to reschedule my clients and stay home!!
I’ve been meaning to talk about running for awhile now, and since I can’t think of anything else to talk about today, this seems like an ideal time.
I ran both cross country and track and field in middle school, but I haven’t run competitively since then. I much preferred cross country to track, mostly because running in circles around a track gets really damn boring after awhile, and I ran the longer distances so after about 10 minutes, I got kind of bored with the same scenery. I also really liked the training involved for cross country meets. I’m the weird person who loved hill sprints.
My eating disorder prevented me from running all through high school. I didn’t realize how much I liked running until I couldn’t do it anymore. I picked up running again once I was fully recovered and healthy, and now run about 15k a week. Compared to most bloggers, this is nothing, I know, but I haven’t been training for anything, only running to complement my other workouts. I have to have a steady strength training schedule, just to keep up with the physical aspects of my job.
I haven’t run a race since middle school, mostly because near the end I started to dread races. The pressure I put on myself during races in middle school definitely came from my perfectionism. I had to be the fastest. I had to train the hardest. I tried really hard, but there were girls that were faster than me. Unfortunately, middle school me equated that with not being good enough. This resulted in my dread of races, because I knew that I couldn’t beat those other girls, and thus I was a failure. I realize now that it was silly of me to think that, and I should have just been happy I could run with my team at all.
Considering I haven’t run a race since middle school, it has allowed such a build of up anxiety over the fact that if I run a race, those same feelings of pressure and failure might resurface. That anxiety has turned into fear, which prevented me from signing up for any races year after year, even though I am completely capable of doing them.
One of my resolutions was to live with less fear, tackle my anxiety, and worry less. I’ve been wanting to start running races again for a few years now, but always came up with excuses not to do them. This year I’ve decided to cut the bullshit, and JUST DO IT. I’m eyeing a 10k race in May right now, and I think I have convinced my best friend to train for a 5k that same weekend, so I have a built in training buddy. Running a marathon is on my bucket list, and I almost signed up for half marathon training with my local running store last week but chickened out. I’ve decided to start small, with a couple 5 & 10ks this year, and maybe I’ll revisit the idea of half marathon training next year. I’d really like to have a running buddy who was training for the same thing when I decide to tackle a half marathon!
The most important thing for me is to remember that I am only racing against myself, that the fact I am even capable of finishing is a huge victory that I should be thankful for, and that it is meant to be FUN. I don’t want to put too much pressure on myself, I just want to challenge myself and re-discover my love for running.
What is your favorite distance to run? Do you like races, or just running for fun?
Favorite running blogs, articles, apps, etc? Please share your favorites with me!